Take a moment to settle into a quiet space. Find a seat, breathe deeply, and let the noise of the day fade a little. When you're ready, write down your to-do list鈥攅verything that comes to mind for today or the week ahead. No task is too small or too big鈥攋ust get it all out on the page.
Now, take a look at what you鈥檝e written. You might see things like work projects, household chores, school assignments, errands, appointments, even workouts. It鈥檚 a list full of responsibilities鈥攖hings that need to get done.
But here鈥檚 a question: did you include anything that鈥檚 just for you? Something relaxing, joyful, or purely restorative鈥攚ithout a deadline or clear 鈥減urpose鈥? If not, you鈥檙e not alone. We鈥檙e often so conditioned to focus on productivity that rest and play don鈥檛 even register as things we鈥檙e allowed to plan for.
This is where the idea of self-permission comes in, says 91成人抖音入口 Assistant Professor of Social Work Hayden Dawes.
In 2018, Dawes began writing personal permission slips鈥攕imple, intentional notes giving himself space to feel, rest, or act in ways that honored his well-being. For example:
鈥淚 give myself permission to rest without guilt.鈥
鈥淚 give myself permission to feel joy, even when things are uncertain.鈥
鈥淚 give myself permission to not measure my worth by productivity.鈥
Over time, this practice became central to his research on what he calls radical permission.
Radical permission combines the idea that we can reclaim agency in our lives by tuning into our true needs through self permission, rather than performing for others鈥 expectations. Radical permission is an extension of self-permission, done through utilizing self-permission slips in a community setting. Sharing one鈥檚 permission slips with others increases accountability and offers support through community encouragement and reinforcement. It is the collective aspect of implementing permission slips that leads to radical permission and expands the practice to create greater overall change.
Self-permission is hard work, and it can feel unfamiliar and often uncomfortable. But at its core, self-permission is about well-being and is worth the challenges.
鈥淎t its heart, self-permission is about listening inward and choosing actions that align with your authentic self,鈥 says Dawes. 鈥淚t鈥檚 not about indulging every impulse, and it鈥檚 not a pass to ignore responsibilities. Instead, it鈥檚 a practice of self-alignment鈥攐f giving yourself the okay to rest, to feel, to heal, and to grow, even when the world isn鈥檛 asking you to.鈥
Everyone鈥檚 permission slips will look different. What matters is that they reflect your inner truth鈥攏ot just what the world tells you is valuable, says Dawes.
Now, return to your to-do list. Read it over again. Could you add one more item鈥攋ust for you? Something small, healing, or joyful? Maybe it鈥檚 a walk outside, an hour with a good book, or simply permission to pause.
Whatever it is, Dawes says, let it be a reminder: you are allowed to be more than your output.
Graduate School of Social Work and Social Research
